One down, forever to go

Lord, give us Thy Joy, that Joy that no man, no poverty, no circumstances, no conditions can take from us.

You shall have My Joy. But Life just now for you both is a march-a toilsome march. . . . The Joy will come, but for the moment do not think of that, think simply of the march. Joy is the reward. . . .


That was an excerpt from, God Calling. It is a daily devotion book from my mom and I read it every day. This was part of today's reading. I am sitting here a year later after reading that for the first time. A year ago wondering if I made the right decision by saying yes to Austen for fear of my previous decision's in men. A year ago of anticipated excitement, fear, anxiety, hope, JOY. I remember reading that passage and realizing I was finally not trying to control my life, but to let God, control it and I was going to trust what was being given to me, a chance at real love.


No, Austen and I are not "perfect," nor are we anywhere NEAR close to it. We fight, we get nasty, we each have personal battles we are dealing with on our own AND as a couple. Some have felt like they may tear us apart. But, in the end we both realize what we have IS special & worth working on. As the time goes by, the arguments become less frequent, the personal battles are becoming easier to deal with & we recognize when we are crossing lines. We talk more, we both get less guarded and we take huge steps in securing this relationship. This is THE healthiest relationship either one of us has ever been in & it is really amazing. For the first time, my dad said he believes someone was my soul mate & I his. For the first time, my mom said she wants me to marry someone I am with. For the first time, his mother told him she wants him to marry whom he is with. I have TRULY, TRULY found the man I am suppose to be with. 

THE EXACT shirt from my dream......

We are by FAR opposite people, but we bring out different qualities in each other that make us as individuals better and as a couple stronger. I am so blessed and I thank God for giving me Austen. He brought us together, I mean you don't go to bed talking to God about please showing you a sign that Mr. Right is coming, have a dream about your husband, who is wearing a plaid red collared shirt, curly brown hair, brown eyes, tall, skinny, wears glasses, his name begins with an A and ends in EN, BUT is spelled wrong and then after you wake up and tell your mom and sister what you dream and can't stop thinking about it, just to get an email 3 days letter from the guy that matches my dream. I can't begin to tell you how crazy it was when he wore the red plaid, short sleeved collared shirt 3 days after he asked me out. I thank God for giving me such a vivid and clear dream. Whenever times are getting hard, it is just a nice reminder that we are meant for one another and to remember, The Joy will come, but for the moment do not think of that, think simply of the march. I will always march by your side, hand in hand and we WILL forever be joyful.

I will hold you forever, Happy Anniversary, Austen.