New beginnings

So, today I was smacked in the face of MY reality. Yes, I have been quite proud of myself as to how I have handled different obstacles that have come my way. I haven't let myself get on too big of a horse of pity party, but none the less, I had been on at least a jack-ass of self pity. And the jack-ass would be myself! LOL

I spent the morning with my Uncle Jeff's fabulous girlfriend, Eileen, and man can she put you in your place-something I am becoming to love more and more about her! I always strive to be as honest and blunt, but she does it in an in your face way, I LOVE IT, I wish more people-including myself, were as blunt as she. After watching The Secret, I have really felt empowered in my own life, but what have I done to make it better? Sure I have been thinking positively, but WHAT HAVE I DONE????

She told me I couldn't come to her about my crap and that I needed to just DO what I needed to do-harsh? YES, but definitely needed. She said that I couldn't speak of hem-haw or we wouldn't have a relationship, that I can't bring drama to her. She let me realize that others see things about me, that I do NOT see about myself or that I do NOT WANT to be. I am a very honest and loving person who really wants to help others but in the end, what have I done for myself? It's amazing how quickly you can get off track, and it IS my fault. I chose crappy relationships (boyfriends and friends) instead of focusing on making a better ME, a better life for ME.

I told Eileen she didn't just come into Jeff's life for just Jeff, but all of us, I hope she realizes I really meant that & that I DO take her words to heart. I really like Eileen and she feels like the big sister who puts me in my place, I have never had that. I can put my siblings in their place when I need to, I am very blunt to friends and my siblings, but I have never had someone do it to me, it's new and unexpected, but something I need & quite frankly I like. I admire Eileen, I really hope she knows that.... and man I want her strength! I am going to get it.....

She told me to stop talking about what I wanted to do, AND DO IT. How simple is that? So why is that so hard? Interesting question I think. Why are the most simplest things the hardest to do?

Changes, changes, changes, let's see....

By the way, I am beautiful, INSIDE & OUT, I am intelligent, I WILL get my college degree completed. Only beautiful, God filled people are allowed in my life. I am drama FREE, I am positive, I stick to what I say and believe, I am a person with action-NOT procrastination, & on top of it all, I am a PRINCESS of the Lord, how fabulous is that? =)

I have a feeling, no, scratch that, I KNOW I am headed onto a special path made for me by my Lord, here's to new beginnings!