New beginnings

So, today I was smacked in the face of MY reality. Yes, I have been quite proud of myself as to how I have handled different obstacles that have come my way. I haven't let myself get on too big of a horse of pity party, but none the less, I had been on at least a jack-ass of self pity. And the jack-ass would be myself! LOL

I spent the morning with my Uncle Jeff's fabulous girlfriend, Eileen, and man can she put you in your place-something I am becoming to love more and more about her! I always strive to be as honest and blunt, but she does it in an in your face way, I LOVE IT, I wish more people-including myself, were as blunt as she. After watching The Secret, I have really felt empowered in my own life, but what have I done to make it better? Sure I have been thinking positively, but WHAT HAVE I DONE????

She told me I couldn't come to her about my crap and that I needed to just DO what I needed to do-harsh? YES, but definitely needed. She said that I couldn't speak of hem-haw or we wouldn't have a relationship, that I can't bring drama to her. She let me realize that others see things about me, that I do NOT see about myself or that I do NOT WANT to be. I am a very honest and loving person who really wants to help others but in the end, what have I done for myself? It's amazing how quickly you can get off track, and it IS my fault. I chose crappy relationships (boyfriends and friends) instead of focusing on making a better ME, a better life for ME.

I told Eileen she didn't just come into Jeff's life for just Jeff, but all of us, I hope she realizes I really meant that & that I DO take her words to heart. I really like Eileen and she feels like the big sister who puts me in my place, I have never had that. I can put my siblings in their place when I need to, I am very blunt to friends and my siblings, but I have never had someone do it to me, it's new and unexpected, but something I need & quite frankly I like. I admire Eileen, I really hope she knows that.... and man I want her strength! I am going to get it.....

She told me to stop talking about what I wanted to do, AND DO IT. How simple is that? So why is that so hard? Interesting question I think. Why are the most simplest things the hardest to do?

Changes, changes, changes, let's see....

By the way, I am beautiful, INSIDE & OUT, I am intelligent, I WILL get my college degree completed. Only beautiful, God filled people are allowed in my life. I am drama FREE, I am positive, I stick to what I say and believe, I am a person with action-NOT procrastination, & on top of it all, I am a PRINCESS of the Lord, how fabulous is that? =)

I have a feeling, no, scratch that, I KNOW I am headed onto a special path made for me by my Lord, here's to new beginnings!

Life is changing for the good!

Today is a new day and in my path of continuing to move forward and making a better life for myself, I thought this was perfect. My mom sent this to me and I absolutely loved it!

Comes The Dawn By Veronica A. Shoffstall


After a while you learn The subtle difference between Holding a hand and chaining a soul And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning And company doesn’t always mean security.


And you begin to learn That kisses aren’t contracts And presents aren’t promises And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up and your eyes ahead With the grace of a woman Not the grief of a child


And you learnTo build all your roads on today Because tomorrow’s ground is Too uncertain for plansAnd futures have a way Of falling down in mid flight


After a while you learn That even sunshine burns if you get too much So you plant your own garden And decorate your own soulInstead of waiting For someone to bring you flowers


And you learn That you really can endure That you are really strong And you really do have worth And you learn and you learn With every goodbye you learn.

I think as a woman, sometimes I forget this about myself, as I am sure others do too....

The Secret

Well, it's been over 6 months since I updated this thing, I guess when you don't want to face reality, you avoid it.

Well after almost 3 years, my and TJ's relationship has ended. It has come as quite a blow to me, but honestly, I wasn't surprised. We had been through a lot, but through that, there has been a LOT of negative things that have happened and it's just not acceptable. It was one hell of a ride, and I know I was a great girlfriend and fiance and have my all. NO DOUBT about it did I give my all. I wish him the best with his future and hope he really finds himself.

On to bigger and better things, I have found the secret to life! Yes, you heard that right! THE secret to life! http://www.thesecret.tv/ I have always believed in this, and am truly certain of it. I have tested it out myself, and things have changed a bit already!

I KNOW my Mr. RIGHT is seriously around the corner, I can feel him, I believe in him and I can't wait to meet him! I was prophesied on before TJ & I got together and was told in my crappy relationships it will happen 3 times and then no more & I will be with the "one." I thought oh wow, my heart has been hurt 3 times, the next guy is it! Well, TJ was the 3rd guy I had ever really loved. Well after this last stunt of Troys', my sister pointed out, this is the 3rd time TJ has done this, then she pointed out, my first love Jim told me he would have been with my best friend Jesse at the time if not for me, then my boyfriend before TJ left and went back to his kids mother, THEN TJ's ass cheated on me 3 times and with someone I was FRIENDS WITH, and walked out on me 3 different times, and was the THIRD guy to do so! So wham bam thank you ma'am, it looks like TJ was the 3rd guy, and now NO MORE! I know I have a great future, and it will be great if I make it great.

It has taken me quite some time to put my foot down in a relationship and demand what I know is right and what I deserve. I have to thank TJ for that. Before, I could never say what I really thought or get mad or disagree, I would just bottle it up inside, next thing I know, it was over. Well TJ helped me let go of that and tell what I felt, express it instead of keeping it inside, and for the that I really do thank him. He also has shown me that I didn't ever put myself on a pedestal. Well I am a princess, I am the daughter of our Lord and deserve to be treated like that. I deserve to have what I desire and am thrilled with the positive outlook on my life I have.

I KNOW I will have what I want, my man is just around the corner, I WILL have children, I have an amazing new car-it's just being stored at

the dealers lot until

I am ready to pick it up! =) YES, it IS my car!

Here is a pic of it, and me in it!

LOL I am coming into money, I am a beautiful and radiant young woman who will serve the Lord with a partner by her side that is only suited by the Lord!

I want to tell everyone about the secret and for them to get it, to truly get it, I think it will make a difference in EVERY ONE'S lives. Well Blessings & Love! Here is to a new, better, and more enjoyable God filled life!!!!